Here's something the meditation magazines wouldn't publish

A “TAKE” ON SUFFERING FROM A STRUGGLING MEDITATION PRACTITIONER
JACK BRAGEN

Through the ages, humans have sought an answer to the predicament of suffering.  Various religions are built around having an answer to this, including both Buddhism and some varieties of Christianity.  There have been numerous cult groups that have claimed to have an answer to the question of suffering; it usually turned out to be bait to reel in more customers. 
     I have thought a lot about suffering.  In some situations, suffering can’t be avoided--if you try to disconnect, you do not survive.  This is applicable to some work situations as well as some situations in which we must put out maximum effort to survive, such as incarceration, illness or war. In other instances, it is possible for us to give relief to ourselves by means of changing our minds. 
     Introspection is something most people are unused to having.  However, a person can learn to look inside their mind.  And when they do they will discover that there are numerous discernable structures and there are perceivable phenomena. 
     A person can learn to look within and make maps of what they see.  Looking at internal phenomena and events is a difficult skill to master, and can take years.  However, there could be some meditative shortcuts to relief from suffering. 
     Rather than the attempt to blank the mind and experience “nothingness” like in Zen, or count the breath to shut off the internal dialogue, I have methodically analyzed my mental innards in order to make changes using an internal sense.  With this analysis, I have discovered several important truths. 
     Suffering is ignorance.  If you are suffering, you are not aware that everything is Ok.  If you are suffering, you are not aware that your suffering is inconsequential.  If you are suffering, you incorrectly believe that there is something to fear.  When you suffer, you lack the bigger awareness.  You are blocked from “thinking outside the box.”  Once you “think outside the box” of suffering, the suffering vanishes. 
     Suffering is, in part, a lack of awareness.  In part it is a holograph-like projection of the mind.  Suffering says falsely that you are not Ok, and that life is not Ok.  Suffering, to continue existing, needs to maintain a monopoly in the mind.  It must exclude the perception that you are Ok, and it can’t coexist with that perception. 
     I have meditated on and off since 1983, with the technique of changing my attitude toward suffering.  When I began, I called it “consciousness realignment.”  It was a matter of re-perceiving suffering in such a way that it was not a threat. 
     Later, my effort changed toward more of an acceptance of suffering without modifying it.  This was a more difficult vein of meditation, but it eventually seems to have paid off.  If a person can make the suffering mechanism of the mind transparent, which means that you see what suffering is. And when you see beyond it, then you can overcome your own human suffering.  If I halt the objection against my suffering, in other words, if I eliminate emotional resistance toward painful emotions, then I will move through the pain, and a part of the suffering will not come back. 
     If you are not engaged in your life, your surroundings, and threats to your existence, you can not survive.  Being engaged in life seems to inevitably entail being uncomfortable.  We can eliminate a part of our suffering without ruining ourselves. 
     Suffering is also a part of the healing mechanism.  If something is damaged, and this includes damage to the astral body, we often need to go through pain and suffering to fix it. 
     The pain that we can eliminate without negative repercussions includes instances in which the suffering mechanism is in a “runaway” mode, and includes instances where there is an irrational, and at the same time unnecessary, fear or pain. Most of the suffering that people generate is irrational and at the same time unnecessary. 
     Let’s look at jealousy, for example:  It can turn a nice man or woman into a monstrous beast.  There is no biological or practical necessity for a person to imagine that their mate is “cheating.” If a mate in fact turns out to be unfaithful, which does happen, it will become apparent in the long run, and it is fine to leave that person if monogamy is part of the agreement.  However, many people have become evil as well as abusive because the Neanderthal impulse of runaway jealousy has gotten hold.  It ruins people’s lives. 
     Let’s look at taking offense to an insult:  it is not needed and allows our minds to be manipulated or controlled by the insulter. 
     What about anxiety over finances:  it can turn an ordinarily nice person into a wealth-hoarding fanatic.  No amount of money is ever enough.  And when a fellow human is in need and asks for help, they will often be rebuffed—even though the wealth hoarder can well afford to help. 
     These are three examples out of thousands in which suffering fulfills an unnecessary and impractical role.  It can take a lot of time and effort toward self-mastery to quell these irrational impulses.  But in the long run, it is a worthy effort. 
     Let’s look now at necessary suffering.  If a person hasn’t reached enlightenment, then it is necessary that they encounter existing suffering.  This describes this author as well as most meditation practitioners.  If I pretended I didn’t have attachments and tried to fulfill a role of enlightened being in advance of doing the work, I would become a phony enlightened person. This is a less advanced position than that of owning my problems.
     Encountering existing suffering, rather than trying to jump ahead past it, allows me to deal with what needs to be dealt with on my path.  It would be nice to think a person could painlessly get to enlightenment without having to deal with all that messy stuff, but that is not so.  A person must proceed from wherever they currently are. 
     Encountering existing suffering helped me heal my feet when they were in pain.  At first I had pain in both feet, and then the pain in the right foot subsided.  To heal the left foot, I had to walk on it while processing the pain through an acceptance filter. 
     And then there is the matter of paying off karma.  When I became a more aware person, I discovered that not everyone has a good impression of me.  In some instances I can make amends, while in other instances, it is a matter of dodging bullets (not literally). 
     Many of the painful events that take place in my life might be attributable to karma.  And it can be used to feed the meditational fire.  I almost didn’t send this manuscript because of my unenlightened status. But I decided I would be able to withstand the “ouch” of rejection, should it take place--and it would become more fuel to use for my continued evolvement. 
     A good meditation practitioner is not afraid of suffering.